Saturday 29 May 2010

Beer-y Funny




One thing I will miss about N19 is the feeling of being framed by a gaggle of glorious gastro-pubs. Also: I love when the opportunity for a funny is observed and fulfilled - why not be amusing or wry or clever? Why not elicit smiles or chuckles or guffaws? (I love a good guffaw!) Suffice to say, I am a big fan of the microbrewery at the always excellent Junction Tavern.

Shame I can't stand the taste of beer. I am a shitty excuse for an Oy-strine.

Sunday 23 May 2010

A Big MStake


"There is a void in the English language which, with some diffidence, we undertake to fill ...

Now, clearly, what is needed is a more comprehensive term which does homage to the sex without expressing any views as to their domestic situation, and what could be simpler or more logical than the retention of what the two doubtful terms have in common. The abbreviation "Ms" is simple, it is easy to write, and the person concerned can translate it properly according to circumstances. For oral use it might be rendered as "Mizz," which would be a close parallel to the practice long universal in many bucolic regions, where a slurred Mis' does duty for Miss and Mrs alike."


THIS WAS WRITTEN IN 1901. Nineteen-oh-fucking-ONE, people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so furious that Ms has not replaced the Virgin/Housewife dichotomy. Did you know that in its original seventeenth century usage, "Mistress" -the equivalent of "Mister"- bore no reference to marital status?


I think this might be my calling, people. An anti-Mrs Campaign. Let's eradicate this menace in our lifetime! Who's on board?



Movie Trailer


Thanks to my lovely friend Austin for the link. And congratzel tov on the latest addition ... x

Thursday 20 May 2010

How Totally Meta-Meta!

I don't normally follow a music clip with a music clip but I just found this track:


Which is only relevant because I am sitting in that blue room in Archway. Which hasn't been blue for at least ten years, since Mr P bought the house from Martin Carr, lead singer of the Boo Radleys. Who left a note, the parting words of which were "Take care of the blue room, and she will treat you well."

She has treated us so, so well, Martin. We have loved and lived and fought and fucked in this room. And selling it has been hard.

But the pain of yours truly, the most immature cow on the planet, has been somewhat alleviated by the fact that predictive text characterises her new hood as "Crotch End" ...

From "Mockingbird" to "Mockery" in sixteen seconds. Surely there's an award for that?

Wednesday 19 May 2010

Join me in a sing-along!


In Treatment at the moment and in dire need of release.

My child-self needs some approval, people. My therapist said so.

Monday 17 May 2010

Sack Theresa May!

Unfuckingbelievable.

A minister for equality who doesn't believe in equality ...

Please click here to register your utter disgust.

Wednesday 12 May 2010

The Revolution Will Be Blogged About!!!


!!!Exclamation points in title down to woman's irrational hysteria ... NOT!!!

So here it is, in a nutshell (not nut as in testicle, you phallocentric phuck!) ...

I am sick of feminism being marginalised.

I am sick of the fact that feminism, when [mis]represented looks like shrill, hairy, hormonal UNFOUNDED dreck.

I am sick of the fact that women still make 73p to every male £1 FOR THE SAME JOB!!!! Imagine if any other group were earning a percentage of the mainstream wage! Imagine the (rightful) outcry!

I AM FUCKING SICK TO DEATH OF THE FACT THAT WE ARE ROUTINELY GROUPED ALONGSIDE "MINORITIES" WHEN NUMERICALLY WE OUTNUMBER MEN!!!!

The Revolution Starts Here!

If you are with me, add your thoughts below. We need action now.

And before you ask, maybe I am getting my period. Lick it up, haters!

Tuesday 11 May 2010

I Feel Like Adrian Mole

Yes, I was a devotee of Enid Blyton and Agatha Christie, Roald Dahl and Are You Being Served?, Bless This House, The Good Life, On The Buses, Love Thy Neighbour (forgive me, my peeps, I was too young to know better), etcetera -------- but it was Sue Townsend's comic creation that turned me on to the Thatcher-hate.

There is a poem he writes, asking her if she cries into her "Marks & Spencer pillow", that I have not only never forgotten, but I think of nearly every time I pop into M&S for my superfood salad or fairtrade columbian ground-for-cafetiere coffee.

I feel sad. For the country, and also for the activist/hustler/politician/radical/agitator that I never became, but feel was my calling.

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ps. Mr P has been saying for ages that he hopes the Tories inherit this current politicosocioecenomic shitstorm because whoever gets in is ultimately ferkakt, and that way we are ensured a Prime Minister Milliband sometime soon ... either one will do! And it's not just because they're both cute and English and Jewish and slightly geeky and ... somewhat familiar. But it helps.

See?! The personal: she is very political after all!!!

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Also: I used to be a MASSIVE comma girl. I was like, ",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,," all over the place. But then I met a cool person once who turned me off 'em. 'Nother post. 'Nother time.

Sunday 9 May 2010

4 Chords

The Axis of Awesome at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, 2009 = Awesome!!

Wednesday 5 May 2010

Favourite Song?

Someone asked me the other day. I generally dislike "favourite" questions if denied the right to multiple responses; part of it is a fear of being categorised or essentialised, I guess.

But I have thought long and hard. This may not be it,


but it is definitely one of the top 5, possibly down to the fact that Tom and Bette do it for me separately, and what first seems incongruous quickly dissolves into honeyed, whiskeyed, sexy seamlessness.

What's yours? You're allowed five.